Alton Brown Comes to McLean

Written by Anton

While enjoying some Mediterranean fare with my wife on Friday evening at Tyson's II, we bumped into a small entourage who happened to be traversing

its cavernous, and typically uninhabited, byways in search of a luggage strap, for apparently Alton Brown (of Food Network fame) was in need of such a device.

For someone who loves cooking, and who had already juggled a calendar to make time for the wine festival in McLean (McLean Uncorked) that featured Alton the next day it was a nice apertif....

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Alton at the Wine Festival

"Can you autograph my garlic press, please?"

The story might be apocrypha, but one horrified woman standing in the line to meet Alton, described the incident to me with all the vivid detail of someone who just witnessed a car wreck in slow motion. As I am sure my readers can imagine, I shared her horror (a garlic press is uni-purpose).....it would have been more appropriate to have asked Alton to autograph a luggage strap -- for surely that accoutrement can serve more than one purpose in a kitchen if only a few gray cells are applied to its culinary application.

Bracing up under the strain of this heresy, Alton continued, only slightly bemused, to greet his fans, dispense cooking tips and share stories with all those who ventured forth on a beautiful autumn day to enjoy good food and great wine.

After getting my book signed, which happily comes with its own sock-puppet kit, expressing our shared condemnation of any food or program that comes with the word "diet" on it, followed quickly with Alton's very appropriate reaction that my wife certainly did not need to be on a diet (she doesn't!), I left unasked the more pressing question on my mind, which was whether he had found the desired luggage strap at Versace or Gucci, for who knows when I might be left in a similarly vulnerable situation while on my own travels.

The final word and Alton's Diet

I once told a colleague, that whenever anyone tells me that he (or she) is on a "diet" that it is really a silent cry for help. In all seriousness, Alton's diet is par excellence. It is a detailed list of what to eat, what not to eat, and how often to eat what you eat. And above all, the most important thing to remember about Alton's diet is this: no diet food!